Grief Comes in Waves: When Milestones Hurt
Episode 1 of My Grief Journey Series - Grief comes in waves
One thing I have learned about grief is that it doesn’t simply disappear with time.
It has now been one and a half years since my ex-partner passed away.
From the outside, life has continued to move forward. I’ve gone back to work, started new projects, and slowly built a new life.
But recently, something reminded me that grief doesn’t follow a straight line.
It comes in waves.
An Unexpected Wave of Grief
A few days ago, my estate lawyer called me.
After more than a year, we’re finally reaching the point of preparing the legal documents to settle my ex-partner’s estate.
During the phone call, my lawyer asked me to find a small cheque that had been issued after my ex-partner passed away.
It was only a small refund from his private health insurance.
It was simply one of the remaining administrative steps.
As I opened my drawer and searched through old documents, I suddenly felt tears welling up.
Nothing dramatic happened.
I didn’t completely break down.
But I could feel that familiar sadness returning.
I Wasn’t Surprised
The interesting thing was…
I actually expected it.
Because I’ve started to notice something about grief.
Whenever an important milestone happens—
whether it’s settling legal matters, reaching an anniversary, or closing another chapter—
it somehow brings me back.
Back to the memories we shared.
Back to the time when everything happened.
Back to the person I lost.
Grief Comes in Waves
I remember my counsellor telling me last year that grief comes in waves. I believed her—but it wasn’t until I experienced it unexpectedly that those words truly made sense.
Even when life feels lighter, and we genuinely think we’re okay, grief can quietly return. Sometimes all it takes is an important milestone, a meaningful date, or the closing of a chapter to bring us back to the memories.
But I know - this isn’t a sign that we’re moving backwards.
It’s simply the natural rhythm of grief. It comes in waves.
If This Happens to You, You’re Not Alone
If you’ve experienced something similar, I hope you know this:
You’re not going backwards.
You’re not grieving the wrong way.
Instead, I think we are all brave souls.
Grief comes in waves. We are not going backward and you are not alone.
This is the first episode of my Grief Journey Series, where I’ll be sharing my personal experience of living with loss.
Not because I’ve figured grief out.
But because I hope that by sharing my own journey, someone else might feel a little less alone in theirs.
Even one and a half years later, there are still moments that bring me back to the memories.
I don’t see that as moving backwards.
I simply see it as another wave.
And like every wave before it…
it eventually becomes calm again.
You Are Not Alone 😊