How I Learned to Truly Love Myself
How I Learned to Truly Love Myself: My Journey of Self-Acceptance and Growth
For a long time, especially in my 20s, I kept asking myself: What does it mean to truly love myself? Does it mean buying whatever I want, doing whatever I want, or something deeper? Over the past eight years in Australia, my life experiences have helped me discover a clearer answer.
I faced many challenges during this time—working in a toxic environment, being made redundant, and being in a relationship that didn’t work out. From these experiences, I realized there are three key ways to truly love ourselves:
1. Listen to your body and take care of your health
2. Stop worrying about others’ comments and social expectations
3. Accept and affirm yourself
Let me explain each one in detail.
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1. Listen to Your Body and Take Care of Your Health
Loving yourself starts with three simple but powerful questions: How do you sleep? How do you move your body? What do you eat?
Sleep: Growing up in an Asian culture, I believed staying up late meant being hardworking. I often worked until 12:30 or even 1 a.m. But I realized this isn’t sustainable. Now, I aim to sleep around 11:30 p.m. and wake up at 7 a.m. Even with the same amount of sleep, I feel more refreshed, more focused, and smarter in the morning. For example, when I tried editing video late at night, I kept struggling to find the right buttons. The next morning, everything was easier—I could see the solution immediately. Good sleep even improves my skin, which is a bonus!
Movement: Exercise wasn’t a priority when I was growing up in Taiwan. Physical education was often replaced with academic classes, so I never developed a consistent routine. In my 30s, I noticed my muscle mass declining and my weight creeping up. I started weight training, which I genuinely enjoy, instead of cardio. I began small—once a week, then twice, and now at least three times a week. Weight training not only strengthens my body but also helped me fix long-standing issues like my round shoulders and humpback.
Nutrition: In the past, I restricted food to control my weight, but I never felt truly happy. Now, I focus on why I crave certain foods. If I crave sweets, it’s often because I haven’t eaten enough carbs in my meals. I make sure to include enough healthy carbs and allow myself desserts in moderation—like yogurt with fruit instead of cake. This way, I enjoy my food while keeping it nourishing.
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2. Stop Worrying About Others’ Comments
This is hard, and I still practice it every day. Growing up in an Asian culture, I internalized social expectations: career achievements, marriage, financial stability, and the “right” timeline for life events.
When I moved to Australia, I realized I could step back from these pressures. I left a law firm job that didn’t align with my personality and found a government research role more suited to me. My parents were a little disappointed that I wasn’t practicing law in private practice, but I feel happier and more balanced.
Even at work, I’ve learned to take feedback rationally. If someone critiques my work, I analyze whether it’s reasonable and useful instead of taking it personally. Surrounding myself with friends who encourage self-confidence also helps me stop internalizing unnecessary judgment.
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3. Accept and Affirm Yourself
Acceptance is the first step. I’ve learned to embrace both my strengths and areas I want to improve. For example, I used to feel embarrassed about crying easily, but I now see it as a healthy way to release stress. After emotionally intense experiences, like a breakup or painful procedures at the dentist, crying allows me to reset mentally and physically.
I also accept physical traits, like my height and posture. While I work on improving my round shoulders and humpback through weight training, I celebrate my small stature as part of my uniqueness.
Affirmation is next. I make a conscious effort to cheer myself on, even for small achievements. Whether it’s gaining my first subscriber on Bubble Foodex! or completing a workout when I feel lazy, I affirm myself: “Yu-Han, you did a good job. Keep going!”
I also write down three good things each day before bed. This simple practice keeps me motivated and fosters a positive mindset, especially during moments of frustration or discouragement.
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Loving Yourself is a Journey
Loving yourself isn’t about being perfect—it’s about trying, learning, and never giving up. By listening to my body, letting go of others’ expectations, and accepting and affirming myself, I’m creating a life aligned with my values.
If you start looking for ways to love yourself, you’re already on the right path. Remember: you are not alone. We are all learning how to care for ourselves, step by step.